Monday, 18 July 2016

On Being More Chill and Not Sweating The Small Stuff


Recently I received some news that made me sad, then angry, then sad again. After five years in my house at school I was told that I have been placed in the new house, introduced to cater for the extra students my school is taking in. Now for the past five years I have loved every minute I've spent in house events and basically given my all to this house, so when I was told that I wasn't going to be able to take part in that community for my final years I became extremely emotional (seriously, sorry family!)

I completely understand that some people had to be put into this house and they had already tried to find volunteers to no success so most of my anger was about the fact that they'd chosen me in particular and that I was being told that I couldn't be a part of my house anymore. So I was pretty upset for about 24 hours but then I started learning that a few of my friends were in the same boat as me and that there really wasn't anything I could do about it. After that I stopped obsessing over it and playing the "this is so unfair" card because let's face it, it gets really annoying after a while and I got bored of being the Debbie Downer in my family. Who was I to be constantly angry about this when just turning on the news shows you how many real problems there are out in the world? 

This isn't a post telling you "stop all your complaining because other people have it a lot worse" but I've started to realise that we only have so much emotional energy to spend on being outraged and concerned. If I spend the whole week being outraged at someone who made a decision that I didn't like, I'd be completely drained because being angry about something so small can completely consume you and fill your head with a really bad energy. For me, when I lift a worry out of my head, it literally feels as if my head is clearing itself of all that negativity. 

That might sound a bit wishy washy and metaphorical but thinking about it in that way really helps me. 

I was talking to my friend Georgia and we both agreed that we just want to care less about all the stupid little things that happen at school. It's so much easier to feel neutral about the stuff that doesn't really need your  opinion and won't really matter past the next week. I've been working a bit already this summer and being in a workplace environment really puts into perspective how pointless any quarreling or hostility is at school. 

I used to be one of those people who was always curious about any drama or gossip going around but nowadays I've realised that sort of stuff really gets me down and it always leads me down a rabbit-hole of questioning myself and who has time to be constantly doubting yourself and how people see you? Not me.

Staying neutral and chill about things really helps with mental health and for me now its just a matter of controlling what things I feel strongly about so I don't burn out. For example I will feel strongly about gun control, feminist and intersectional issues, I'm going to have to pass on having a strong opinion on so-and-so's friendship drama or the new external students though (just going to assume they're all lovely). I'm saving my energy for the issues that actually matter and hopefully it's going to see the last few years at school go a lot smoother and happier for me. 

It also applies to all the celebrity drama, if you're feeling drained by it all, try to focus on something else. I am avoiding the Kim/Taylor drama on twitter right now because I can't help but support Taylor and seeing lots of people making fun of her is stressing me out so I'm just going to take a bit of a step-back. This is just me personally feeling like consuming pointless conflicts is toxic for my mood but I'd be much happier without anyone trying to start drama or tear other people down. I'm just not here for any social media cat fights any more. 

What do you think? I'd love to here your thoughts on this down in the comments or on twitter (@hattiehards)!

Have a wonderful week!
Hattie xo

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2 comments:

  1. I look up to you so much as a person and as a blogger! This is SUCH a kickass post, go you! xxx

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  2. I find that I worry less when I meditate. I also fear less. And obviously, I'm less anxious. Being calm is quite freeing :)

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